Thereupon he said, 'Gaurdasi (the same as Gauri-Ma) will come here this afternoon. She will tell you about them.' That very afternoon Gaurdasi arrived, and I learned from her that to a woman her husband is Chinmaya (Pure Spirit).'
A still greater difficulty which the Holy Mother faced at this time was the utter poverty and loneliness in which she was, as it were, condemned to live. Towards the end of his life, Sri Ramakrishna had said to her, 'After my time you go to Kamarpukur, live upon whatever you get - be it mere boiled rice and greens - and spend your time in repeating the name of God.' These words came to be fulfilled to the very letter during this period of the Holy Mother's life. She had no cash in hand. She had to take a spade and dig the earth in order to cultivate some greens to go with her daily food. Until these were fit for use, she made rice out of the paddy in the granary, offered it to the Master, and partook of it herself without any condiments. She did not have even a few paise for purchasing salt, an article which is not ordinarily denied even to the poorest of the poor.
Being ever resigned to the divine will, she never spoke of her wretched condition to anyone, not even to her own mother. On hearing of her return to Kamarpukur, Syamasundari Devi had asked her to come to Jayrambati. So she went there one day to meet her mother. Syamasundari Devi wept to see her dressed almost like a beggar woman. She asked her repeatedly to stay with her at Jayrambati, but the Holy Mother would not agree to it, nor disclose the miserable